


50% roast sessions (to each other and other people)

by PurrfectCatastrophe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:18:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrfectCatastrophe/pseuds/PurrfectCatastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble collection of my TanaTsuki fics! The really short ones that are just better collected here</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fist Bump of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble #1 from here http://otpoftheday.tumblr.com/post/127050010446/you-went-for-a-fist-bump-and-i-went-for-a-kiss-and
> 
> Title inspired by one of my own posts cause I'm fuckin hilarious
> 
> I imagine that Tanaka/Tsukki is just 50% roast sessions (to each other and other people), 30% unfiltered sass, 10% Sarcasm (all Tsukki), 5% complaining about each other, and 5% fluffy romantic stuff while complaining about each other

There are certain days when Kei would feel the urge to be more romantically inclined than normal. They don’t happen often but sometimes he likes taking control from Ryuu. Buying him little treats, being the first to move in for a kiss, or sending the good morning text (and if he’s feeling generous adding in a heart emoji) just small gestures to remind Ryuu that he can be romantic from time to time.

Today happens to be one of those days. Kei had decided to walk back home with Tadashi for the eighth day in a row and was feeling slightly guilty. Even though Ryuu assured him it was okay the kid wears his heart on his sleeve and would always look like an abandoned puppy when they parted ways. Surprisingly walking home together was very important to Ryuu. Something about it being one of the ultimate romantic high school fluff  fantasies. Kei wasn’t really paying attention to all the shoujou manga examples and ranting.

It was annoyingly endearing how easy Ryuu is to read. So Kei decides to surprise his boyfriend with a kiss goodbye and whispered promise to make it up to him later. Kei had it planned out so perfectly he was sure Ryuu would melt from how romantic he was. It’d be after practice in front of the Sakanoshita Store where they usually part ways.

“I’m walking home with Yamaguchi” Kei states earning him a small pout from Ryuu. Ryuu would then perk up quickly and their borderline rude goodbyes would be exchanged. Kei waits till Ryuu turns around before catching his attention again. “I think you forgot something.” Kei says as he steps forward. Ryuu turns face brightening up as Kei approached him. He’d lean in for a kiss right as Ryuu reaches out to him.

Then Kei would get punched right in his face.

Wait. What?

Kei stumbles slightly as his glasses fall to the ground and Ryuu’s garbled shouts of distress fill his ears. His entire face throbs with pain and hurts to even touch lightly so he doesn’t. Just lets his hands hover over his face as he tries to make sense of the world again. He’s ushered back to the store at some point amongst the panic and finds himself sitting on a bench with an ice pack pressed to his face.

“Are you okay?” Ryuu and Tadashi ask him at the same time.

“What even happened?” Kei asks instead answering the question.

“I... accidently punched you in the face.” Ryuu admits as he hangs his head in shame. “I didn’t know what you were doing I thought you wanted a fist bump goodbye.”

“Why the hell would I want a fist bump?” Kei shouts incredulously, losing his temper slightly. They both choose to ignore Tadashi’s muffled laughter in the background.

“I don’t know?!” Ryuu shouts back distressed. “I guess I’m so used to giving a fist bump as a goodbye and I wasn’t expecting a kiss from you?”

“The absolute last time I try to be romantic with you.” Kei mutters as he presses the ice pack to his face again.

“Kei no wait!” Ryuu dramatically fake sobs as he latches onto Kei. “I promise I can change!”

“Let me go I’ve already made up my mind”

“Kei please!” 

 


	2. Royal Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Tanaka Ryuunosuke loves to tease his royal adviser Tsukishima Kei who's thinking about looking for a new job

“Aren’t you supposed to call me like ‘your majesty’ or something like that?” 

“Aren’t you supposed to actually be king or something to deserve that title?”

Ryuu lets out an offended gasp and lifts his head off the table to look at the one who dared sass him. Tsukishima Kei, his royal adviser and boyfriend, gives him a sly smirk from across the room and continues sorting through the files. 

Despite being younger than Ryuu himself Kei was a very capable and hardworking royal adviser. Really Kei was here to level out Ryuu and keep him out of line. So he’s more like a royal babysitter than anything else.

It was one of their lazy days where Ryuu didn’t have Prince stuff to do and Kei was left with simple chores. So Ryuu decided to keep Kei company in one of their many document rooms while Kei sorted the most recent files. Ryuu pushes back his chair and strides over to Kei with a pout on his face.

“That was really rude.” Ryuu whines once he’s close to Kei. He’s practically standing chest to back with Kei in an attempt to annoy him. Personal space is a rare thing with Ryuu as a boyfriend.

“Oh?” Kei replies nonchalantly not even bothering to look up from his work. 

“You could get in trouble if you keep being so mean to the prince and soon to be king.” Ryuu pouts as he wraps his arms around Kei’s waist. 

“Remind me to move out the country when you become king.” Kei deadpans still unphased by Ryuu’s words. They’ve known each other for too long for him to take anything Ryuu says with that face serious. 

“You are such a jerk.” Ryuu grumbles before sneaking his fingers under Kei’s shirt and lightly running his fingers up Kei’s side. A short gasp of laughter escapes Kei’s mouth bringing a devilish grin to Ryuu’s face. The prince continues his tickle assault pleased with how Kei easily falls apart. Kei’s laughter while being tickled is like music to Ryuu. Unfiltered and utterly pure, quite unlike the mocking laughter he uses for when they goof off together.

Ryuu doesn’t stop tickling until Kei is doubling over and all the papers he had in his hands decorate the floor. Ryuu finally pulls away and grabs Kei’s hands helping him up off the floor. Kei glares at Ryuu who just smiles back innocently while batting his eyelashes. 

“You are such a royal pain.” Kei mutters still breathless from the tickle attack.

“Yeah but I’m your royal pain.” Ryuu sasses back before leaning in and giving Kei an apology kiss. Kei easily relaxes into the kiss and allows Ryuu to push him back till he’s sitting on the table. They continue sharing sickeningly sweet kisses until Kei gently pushes on Ryuu’s chest.

“Alright my royal pain let me finish my job before I get in trouble.” Kei sighs. Ryuu grumbles but steps aside anyway. They both pick up the fallen papers and settle back to their original positions of Ryuu at the table and Kei sorting. Ryuu can’t complain though since the view from behind is just as nice anyway.


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka adults in the worst way possible while Tsukki is gone for a week and a half

“How the fuck are you even still alive?” 

Tsukki turns around to face the distressingly large pile of fruit snack boxes and disposable coffee cups with a look that can only be described as pure wonder and disgust. This however is not worse than the kitchen as those were just daily snacks apparently. The kitchen is filled with nothing but juice boxes, soda cans, junk food, and so many microwaveable foods Tsukki could gag. He’s sure the only thing remotely close to healthy he’s seen are the various water bottles dotted around the apartment.

“Look everyone adults differently Tsukki.” Tanaka defends as if that excuses the thirty empty mini melon bread wrappers on the table in front of him.

“I was gone for one and half weeks how did **_this_** ” Tsukki gestures to Tanaka currently sitting at the kitchen table in his underwear shoving **another** mini melon bread in his mouth “ even happen.”

“Well on the first day I attempted to cook some barbecue but that went up in flames, _literally_ , cause I can only cook simple things y’know? So I go to the store to buy ingredients for a more simpler dish and instead walked out with what you see here now.” Tanaka explains with the confidence no man should be allowed to have.

“Clean up this mess right now while I prepare you some real food.” Tsukki orders as he rolls up the sleeves to his shirt.

“But you just got back! I haven’t even gotten a hello kiss.” Tanaka whines loudly.  

“Hello kisses are for adults who don’t have melon bread crumbs on their faces and twenty empty fruit snack boxes in the living room.” Tsukki says before he turns his back to Tanaka ending the conversation. The sound of Tanaka’s chair scraping against the floor let’s Tsukki know he’s won this battle.

\--

“You may be mean but your cooking skills are amazing.” Tanaka mumbles through his food. 

“So sorry I want my boyfriend to eat a decent meal and not die from a fruit snack induced death.” Tsukki huffs. He wants nothing more than to stay mad but when Tanaka grins at him so happily it’s hard to stick with his plans. If there’s one thing Tanaka is it’s earnest and there’s no feeling quite like someone genuinely enjoying your food.

“That would amazing and you know it.” Tanaka says once he swallows the rest of his food. The plate is now empty so Tanaka gets up and takes it to the sink. Tsukki had already eaten before coming home so there was only his dishes to wash. But there was still one thing to take care of.

“Am I now an adult worthy of hello kisses?” Tanaka asks as he drops down onto Tsukki’s lap. Tsukki crosses his arms and stares at Tanaka for a good minute before shrugging.

“To be honest I never considered you an adult to begin with.” Tsukki deadpans with a challenging smirk. Tanaka gently knocks his head to Tsukki’s and mutters a quick “rude” before claiming the kiss he should have gotten an hour ago.

 


	4. Nap Time Waits for No Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka can and will nap anywhere he pleases. Unfortunately for Tsukki he happens to be one of Tanaka's favorite napping spots

Tanaka has a habit and it only happens at the worst of times.

Tsukki knew Tanaka was a cuddlier and in general just very affectionate. So nap time cuddles were an expected thing from time to time. What he didn't know was that Tanaka could and would fall asleep literally anywhere. Not to mention Tsukki ,apparently, made the perfect pillow (or bed depending on the situation) for Tanaka. 

The first time it happened was on a bus ride home from a practice match in the city. Tanaka had been talking animatedly about this family of stray cats the moment he sat down. Tsukki was sorta listening but mostly thinking about the absurd amount of homework he had left to do. This was just how their relationship worked. Tanaka rambles while Tsukki half listens or pretends to not listen and the world spins on. If he had been paying attention on this particular day then he could have taken the yawning as a hint. 

Unfortunately Tsukki didn't realize till his lap was full of Tanaka and his fate was promptly sealed. 

“Tanaka get up.” Tsukki mutters as he pokes at Tanaka’s face. His boyfriend’s only reaction is to curl up even tighter and snuggle closer to Tsukki. So there’s more shaking and angry muttering but not even going near his ticklish areas would wake him up. Which meant this is one of Tanaka’s “deep sleeps”. The kinds of which no one can rouse him from till he’s good and ready.

At first it was only somewhat annoying but nothing he couldn't deal with for one bus ride. Tanaka thankfully wasn't heavy and apparently so tired he didn't toss about randomly. So Tsukki tolerated the invasion of his space. That is until Suga noticed them being “cute” and started taking pictures. 

After that it's as if Tanaka lived for embarrassing Tsukki with his many inopportune naps. During lunch in a classroom full of other students, during a cookout surrounded by other teams, at the fuckin beach which got them both buried in sand by Noya.

Now obviously most of his grief could be avoided if he just pushed Tanaka off or woke him up.  That however would be a really shitty thing to do and contrary to popular belief Tsukki does have at least one tenth of a heart. Not to mention Tanaka is like a cat and everyone knows you can’t wake the napping cat.

So yes Tsukki can’t wake up his boyfriend because he’s too cute to disturb.

\--

“Today was so long.” Tanaka complains as he practically flings his backpack to another dimension. Tsukki watches the poor backpack go flying and Tanaka quickly throws himself on the couch with a content sigh. It’s another day of getting home late from practice which means Tsukki’s parents went out to eat so the place will be empty for a while. They’ve already established some form of weekend sleepover routine so neither have to worry about asking first.

Tsukki let’s Tanaka bounce around the living room for a while as he gathers up some snacks for them to eat. Neither of them really feel like cooking dinner, so junk food will have to do until they fake being responsible human beings.

“Move over.” Tsukki says as he nudges Tanaka who is face down on the couch. The lump on the couch doesn’t respond so Tsukki sets their food and drinks down in preparation to move him by force. He goes to shake Tanaka only to be grabbed by him instead. The mischievous smile is all  the warning Tsukki gets before Tanaka drags him down onto the couch and flips them around so he’s sitting on Tsukki’s lap. Tsukki makes a grunt of annoyance and tries to push Tanaka off of him. Tanaka refuses to budge though and uses Tsukki’s shoulders as a place to rest his head.

“You’re  so waaaarm. Lemme nap here for a bit.” Tanaka mutters sleepily as he gets comfortable. 

“No way you don’t nap you exit this plane of reality for a good five hours.” Tsukki tries to argue but alas it’s too late. Tanaka is already sleeping and dead to the world. Tsukki is trapped but thankfully Tanaka isn’t terribly heavy and he already has food so he’ll allow this for now.

Tsukki turns on his TV and picks a show to watch until Tanaka returns to the land of the living. He pretty much goes about his weekend night as if Tanaka isn’t laying on top of him. He responds to text messages, enjoys his favorite show, and tries to decide what he wants for dinner later. He does however have to make sure to evenly ration his snacks since he’ll be stuck for a while.

Things were in general very chill until the front door suddenly swings open and Akiteru calls out a greeting. Tsukki jolts up slightly and almost throws Tanaka off of him. It’s not that Akiteru hates Tanaka (in fact they got along annoyingly well after Tanaka unabashedly showed off the family of cats he’s temporarily caring for) it’s that Akiteru is so embarrassing. Ever since he found out that Tsukki had a boyfriend it’s been nothing but almost sobbing over how worried he was Tsukki would die alone.

“Tsukki are you in…” Akiteru pauses as he takes in the situation before him “here….”

It’s dead silent as the two brothers stare at each other. Tsukki feels the heat on his face rising and he’s trying his hardest not to fidget about. Before either of them can speak Tanaka sleepily raises his head and gives Akiteru a half conscious smile.

“Oh hi Tsukki-bro sorry for the...” is all Tanaka can manage before he falls right back asleep. The silence returns and the brothers stare at Tanaka in disbelief. Without warning (and with much more grace than Tsukki thought possible) Akiteru snaps a picture of them and quickly retreats to his room before Tsukki can even attempt to get up. He groans loudly as the blush takes over his entire face now. There is no way he’ll hear the end of this.

Tanaka is very confused as to why Tsukki refuses to speak to him for the rest of the night.


End file.
